Why did he get waste my time if he wasn't ready for a relationship?
28 March 2021, 17:54

Back in November I matched with a guy on an app and we hit it off. The area I live in has been under lockdown since November but things have started opening back up. Over the past 4 months we've had virtual dates and talk daily and had plans to meet up once lockdown lifted. On my profile I stated I wanted a relationship and he mentioned that he wanted the same thing so while getting to know each other we discussed the qualities we look for in a relationship and in someone we are dating. Over the past month or so, I noticed some minor red flags. Lockdown restrictions have lifted and he asked me if it wasn't for lockdown would I still be seeking a relationship or more of a casual arrangement (he has a history of casual relationships). There were 2 occasions where he didn't text me for a few days without any explanation, and I'd always have to be the one arranging our video calls. He also told me a story of how he had a one night stand while in a relationship but never told his ex gf. Given all of these things, last week I asked him if he was too busy to be in a relationship. He said no, but then yesterday night he send me a text basically saying he's ready to date but not be in a relationship as he wouldn't have the time, and with things opening he wouldn't know what a relationship would look like that he's willing to keep his options open and see where things go. I was pretty shocked considering we've talked for months on end and he didn't consider these things while talking? I told him that at this point in my life I'm looking for more commitment and maybe we should just remain friends, and he told me he was disappointed and that it was bittersweet but he understands. He said that maybe now is not the time for him to be in a relationship and that he worries that he may not meet someone's expectations.

Why did it take him 5 months to determine this - especially when it was time to meet up now that lockdown is over? I feel sad but I know it was the right decision.

submitted by /u/Zestyclose-Fish-94
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