Guys why say you’re interested in a second date and then pull the I’m busy card. Dont string me along just tell me if you don’t wanna see me. The games and lies don’t help anyone. I’m keeping the door open in case he legit is busy but wow. I’m upset.
So in the past month or two I've (28M) gotten into OLD, tinder mostly. I've never had much luck with any dating apps, I typically find myself at my best when I meet people in person anyway, but COVID has made that more challenging in the last year.
Anyway, I matched with someone I know, and I am attracted to. Problem is, she's my good friend's, friend's, ex-gf. Yes I do know the guy, and yes I knew them when they were dating. I wouldn't say we were exactly good friends though, and I haven't talked to either of them since COVID began.
Is this just too weird for me to start talking to her? I haven't made any move yet so I might just be overthinking something that won't coalesce into anything anyway, but I can't decide on how to proceed.
I’ve been dating this guy for about 8/9 months. We’re 9 years apart and I don’t notice the age difference. 34m, 25f. We get along like a house on fire, always laughing together. He tells me regularly ‘I laugh so much with you’, I know his friends, his family know about me but we haven’t been able to meet due to Covid. He used to call his parents every Sunday but since we’ve been dating, it’s become less and less. We normally see each other a few times a week, sometimes less or more depending on our schedule. He invites me to all the 'big' things in his life, for example, we were going to go to his medical ball together (he would've been seen with me in front of other girls if there is anything nefarious). When we drive or hangout in different areas together, he likes to look up the prices of houses. He's also said in front of me how cute kids are and that he can't wait to do that one day. Signs to me he's testing my reaction and seeing if I want that as well.
A few months into dating, he asked to make sure that we’re not seeing other people. He isn’t into casual sex and I think exclusivity is important to him. A few months ago I was anxious about what we were - he hadn’t asked me to be his girlfriend and I thought this is something that he would’ve wanted to do. He’s traditional, wanting something serious such as marriage/family. We had a few talks about the direction of our relationship, he said there were a few things he was a bit concerned about, a few things we maybe didn’t have in common (he’s very risk-averse and overthinks everything).
He’s studying so after that conversation he said he would decide at the end of his exams, his exams have finished now. He went away recently with some of his University friends, he was unsure of whether to go (seemed like he wanted to be with me, haha) and wanted to see me before he left. I’ve felt good about everything between us post-exams as I had a feeling he was going to slowly contact me less and less and try and see me less - due to his uncertainty.
One night on the phone, I told him that I wasn’t quite sure whether continuing to have sex with him was a wise idea as we aren’t boyfriend/girlfriend. He was confused that I said it was casual. I said ‘well, we aren’t in a relationship’ and he said ‘you are my girlfriend’ I’m certain he went onto say ’I thought we’ve known this since we started dating’ so I then asked him ‘well if I was to meet a new friend of yours that I haven’t met, would you introduce me as your girlfriend? And he said yes. Unfortunately, he has to repeat his exams so I may not be able to see him for a while, I do need to clarify that he actually meant this.I just wonder why he had this hesitancy a few times when we had the discussion a few months back though? There was even a point where I suggested we should end things because he wasn't so sure and he agreed. Maybe this is natural though and a reflection of his risk-averse attitude about things. There were just some uncertainties on his part. He said he could've been overthinking it. As a result, it sort of made me more anxious and I suggested we should end it.
He said it’ll be good to have a proper chat about things as we’ve both been putting things off, as so he said.
I got to his house, he said yes I have been his girlfriend all along and he doesn't know why I would think otherwise. He said that he feels it’s not going to work because of our age gap and he claims we're very different people. I personally do not see this as I feel like we share the same values, we're compatible in a lot of areas etc. He told me that he finds me beautiful, loves my sense of humour and that we get along and have fun together. I did mention that we handle conflict differently but our only arguments have been over text/call and since that's such a poor form of communication - it's hard to tell.
He started to cry (this is the most emotion I've seen from him), saying he won't be able to cook me any more dinners and our memories shared together. He then went back and forth and said he doesn't know if he's making the right decision, that he will never find someone like me, I am out of his league etc. He said maybe he's just one big idiot after all and he's made a stupid decision. I was calm in my response and he said "why don't you get angry? this is making it more difficult" in a somewhat cute way. He just kept saying that lately everything has been solidified in his brain that it's probably the most responsible decision. He asked me if I thought he was being unreasonable.
Now I feel like since we've been arguing quite a bit the past few weeks and he's been stressed, possibly his decision is skewed. I hadn't seen him in 2 or 3 weeks due to exams and I asked whether maybe we just got cold feet because of us not seeing each other. I remember months ago he said he sometimes questions us in absence.
We spent over 4 hours talking and it was like he didn't want me to leave nor did I. He then asked if we should go to dinner together. He finally walked me to my car and he couldn't stop crying.
Something in me decided to message him the other morning after I left:Me - Morning
Hey guys I’m guy 24 who never had a girlfriend and it bothers me ,almost everyone I know is in a relationship. I’m kind of a shy person which makes me feel uncomfortable or a little intimidated around any girl I see attractive I find it really hard to find someone
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So to keep it short I (17) hung out with this girl (17). Asked her on a date after having an amazing time for 3 months. All signs were pointing towards success. Well, when I followed up with a plan she told me "no" because it is currently not possible as she has a lot of exams going on. I told her to let me know when she has time. Two weeks and nothing. Ok, she rejected me. Fair enough. But I would still wanna know what went wrong or why. We always had such an amazing time, flirtatious, etc.
I'm really wondering or maybe she is still busy with exams (unlikely, but hey). I can take no for an answer. But I would still like to improve for next time.
What y'all think?
27F and have been crushing on a coworker for over a year. I know I know the saying... that's why I held back for so long. Well now I realized it's probably more than a crush and he's reciprocating as well. He's much older than me (mid 30s) and he seems a lot more confident than I am so I figured after the flirtatious exchanges he'd ask me out first. That never happened and now I'm coming into realization that this guy will probably never ask me out despite both of us having feelings for each other. My "friend" gave me really chilling advice saying if I don't ask him out now, there will be more options after COVID is over.... so now I'm thinking she is right and I will most likely loose chances with him if I continue to keep waiting for him to make a move. We are both in a professional setting and I know it's not the best decision, but I'm not looking to stay there for very long. Should I take my chances and ask him out? How does one do this? I've never asked anyone out before.... how would a guy feel if a girl asked him out first? Also, how do I ask him out subtly without fully raising flags like this is a date date... but more like getting to know each other? COVID is making it even harder to do just that because coffee shops are closed.
Lots of my close friends told me not to pursue it but after explaining to them that this guy is legit my ideal guy and he's one of the best people that I ever got to meet in my life; I feel like I would totally miss out if I don't try but I'm so shy, introverted and not confident but he's the complete opposite so I was hoping he'd make the first move. We've done the most cliche flirting that you see on a romantic movie like passing out sticky notes, whispering at each others ears, and starting at each others eyes like no tomorrow... but it still hasn't progressed to anywhere. Please give some advice :)
Back in November I matched with a guy on an app and we hit it off. The area I live in has been under lockdown since November but things have started opening back up. Over the past 4 months we've had virtual dates and talk daily and had plans to meet up once lockdown lifted. On my profile I stated I wanted a relationship and he mentioned that he wanted the same thing so while getting to know each other we discussed the qualities we look for in a relationship and in someone we are dating. Over the past month or so, I noticed some minor red flags. Lockdown restrictions have lifted and he asked me if it wasn't for lockdown would I still be seeking a relationship or more of a casual arrangement (he has a history of casual relationships). There were 2 occasions where he didn't text me for a few days without any explanation, and I'd always have to be the one arranging our video calls. He also told me a story of how he had a one night stand while in a relationship but never told his ex gf. Given all of these things, last week I asked him if he was too busy to be in a relationship. He said no, but then yesterday night he send me a text basically saying he's ready to date but not be in a relationship as he wouldn't have the time, and with things opening he wouldn't know what a relationship would look like that he's willing to keep his options open and see where things go. I was pretty shocked considering we've talked for months on end and he didn't consider these things while talking? I told him that at this point in my life I'm looking for more commitment and maybe we should just remain friends, and he told me he was disappointed and that it was bittersweet but he understands. He said that maybe now is not the time for him to be in a relationship and that he worries that he may not meet someone's expectations.
Why did it take him 5 months to determine this - especially when it was time to meet up now that lockdown is over? I feel sad but I know it was the right decision.
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Been texting this guy back and forth everyday. We haven’t had a date yet but he’s mentioned that we should “hangout next week” though he hasn’t made concrete plans with a time and place. He has asked me to meet up before but it was pretty much always for the next day or so and I told him that I already have plans but let’s plan something ahead of time.
As for the texting, when the conversation naturally dies he has not initiated the following time. I have initiated texting maybe 2 days later to get another conversation going.
I don’t think I should have to initiate this early in the game especially to make finalized date plans. What do you think?
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5 days ago I gave a guy my number. He texted me later and we were texting back and forth without a beat. Recently he’s been very dry and inconsistent. He has multiple jobs so I’m fine with the inconsistency but sometimes he starts conversations and doesn’t finish or continue them and i’m left looking stupid. He doesn’t ask me any questions because he’s not comfortable yet. (Doesn’t make sense to me bc how else would you get to know someone especially over text???) He’s busy so I usually don’t bother waiting for a text but I’m starting to think he just doesn’t like me (despite him telling me he does). I asked my guy friends and they said when they meet a girl they like and have her number they’ll make time to text them no matter what. I don’t wanna waste my time so much so I told him if he doesn’t like me he can just tell me and I’ll be off his back but HE decided he wants to get to know each other more. I’ll try to talk to him more irl but I’m starting to think he has lost interest. What do you guys think?